AVS #4 | "Fully Flared", Lakai (2007)

From Kingpin #54

For the seasoned journalist, there's no feeling like getting the scoop. After rounds and rounds of minutious fact checking, I am today in the position to reveal that Lakai shoes released a video. Fully Flared, it’s called. I know. Nobody’s heard about it yet, it’s some kind of secret project. Anyway, on a more serious note, what needs to be dissected that hasn’t been? Heated debates have been the rage on the web, scrutinizing the pros and cons of, among others, slow-mos, musical choices, angles, and mid-air farts.

In this maelstrom of opinions, only one thing stands for sure : if everybody feels the need to give it their two cents, it’s a strong sign that FF won’t know the tragic kind of future that, say, Airwalk’s Skateboarding Video ’96 did. A true cornerstone, then. Music-wise too? According to Guy Mariano -who loves his two Band Of Horses songs, thank you very much-, the whole process came naturally. “Ty played all these songs on tour, without telling us they were the ones he had in mind for it”. And even though some Aaron Meza input was alas lost, there are definitely three albums worth acquiring from the XXIst century’s Hokus Pokus. Remember, this feature ain’t no video review, more so just what a future Pulitzer Price of Investigative Journalism believes to be the three classic albums that you should own from it, in order to build the ultimate skate video nerd sonic library.
(click on the cover, see the part)


Bad Brains : Banned In DC
Tune used : Don’t Bother Me
(Anthony Pappalardo)
It takes a certain kind of skater to handle Bad Brains. Imagine Chris Fissel backed by Slayer… Chris who? Kids, if you only knew... In Pop’s case, the choice proves perfect to accompany his fast and furious balance of tech and simple tricks. The album the tune itself comes from, Banned in DC, is such a classic that purchasing it is a no-brainer –this one was nominated for the Pulitzer Prize of Awesome Puns too.
This compilation of early material came out out of the blue in 2003 as comprehensive surprise, after years and years of chaotic moves from a band that started good, though, in 1979, right after the intricate jazz band Mind Power discovered punk-rock and decided to change name in honor of a Ramones song (Bad Brain).
Pappalardo-wise, it’s not the first time Don’t Bother Me was released. The track was part of the Black Dots album too (1996), an earlier effort at compiling original Bad Brains music, built around the same low-fi 1979 hits (Attitude, Don’t Need It, Pay To Cum…). Which one to choose now? Hard to say. HR’s fake cockney accent on some of the Black Dots tunes is priceless, while Banned In DC includes the crucial Sailin’On. Both sound good, just add 1986’ I Against I and the OG 1982 self-titled LP, maybe dabble with some of their oeuvre until 1989’s Quickness –not only for Ryan Fabry’s Don’t Blow No Bubbles in Plan B’s Questionable.
Later stuff is more risqué, bearing in mind that HR’s antics never helped, and that Lil John invited Dr Know, Daryl Jenifer and Earl Hudson on his tune Real Nigga Roll Call. Crunk and positive harcore music hand to hand? Now that’s some PMA.


Judas Priest:
Screaming For Vengeance
Tune used : Riding on the Wind
(Mike Carroll)
Hesh or fresh? How about both? If the Gino/Guns’n’Roses combo worked once, could it be reproduced ? It took four years, until Fully Flared, to obtain a definite answer to this Kafkaian, haunting question. “Yes,” Mike Carroll’s part replied, to the second tune of Judas Priest’s eighth album that’s not unfamiliar to skateboarding : its artwork got used first for a Kelly Bird board on Real. “No doubt the most memorable of all my graphics” Kelly states, “and I’ll never forget when I saw Carroll on the cover of Slap wearing the shirt. No royalty check would ever amount to the personal value of that cover for me.” Imitation being the sincerest form of flattery, this is most probably why Jamie Thomas re-used it on a deck years later…
Anyway, back to all things evil, up until the 1986, synth-plagued Turbo album, it’s safe to say that Judas Priest were the true metal gods, beating Maiden by a (permed) hair. Partially because it’s at one of their shows that the pinnacle of mulleted splendor, the Heavy Metal Parking Lot documentary, was filmed, and also because Rob Halford’s band had to go to this ridiculous trial for supposed subliminal messages in one of their songs, not Maiden. Two major plusses, not to mention Halford’s heroic on-stage Harley accident.
For all these scientific reasons, Judas Priest wins. Not by much, though. Maybe if they had got a cease-and-desist from Gene Simmons (Kiss) for using a patented face make-up paint pattern, as King Diamond did –confirmed by Simmons on his website- the victory would have been more undisputable.


Silence of The lambs (soundtrack)
Tune used : Goodbye Horses
by Q Lazzarus (Marc Johnson)
“There is so much violence and obscurity within the walls of Goodbye Horses. It is what the world would be listening to on a Saturday night if the Nazis had won the war, only if the Nazis had good taste. This song rivals every other song ever known to man”, somebody claiming to be one-hit wonder Q Lazzarus herself modestly states on her MySpace regarding her1991 tune. “I feel creepy just listening to it”, ‘Q’ adds. Not because of MJ’s award-winning part. More because it accompanied serial killer Buffalo Bill’s awkwardly onanistic dance in front of his mirror in Silence of the Lambs. Please note that director Jonathan Demme must have some sort of complicated fetish with Goodbye Horses, for he used it already in Married To The Mob, three years before… But that’s not the point.
The important thing is that Q Lazzarus, a former NYC cab driver, has reached mythical status by performing a disappearance of Jed Walteresque proportions, while some of her former band members are still around to confirm that, yes, she’s real. But that’s about it. To get this unsettling great track, only two options : either go the intellectual route by purchasing the Silence of The Lambs soundtrack (it features Tom Petty and Savage Republic too), or go the parodic way by getting Clerks 2’s. As Fully Flared incidentally, it showcases King Diamond’s talent. Yet counter-balanced by a Samantha Fox joint, though.